Poor Little Youshi

So, one individual in our family rarely, if ever, makes the blog, but today the poor lil dear is the highlight. Now as his mom, I recognize that I may be a little biased on some accounts....although, I will willingly acknowledge that he has terrible breath, sheds like....well something that sheds a lot, and lately, he will sit at the edge of the couch and bark his little lungs out. And, yes, sometimes he scares the mess out of me in the middle of the night when I roll over and he barks like he's being attacked (I sometimes fear that he may eat me in my sleep). All of these things make the pound an ever more looming possibility.

However, from the moment I first saw his little seizure-having self, it was love at first sight. Yup, I love the little freak, and could never send him to the pound... However, sweet little innocent Ace is another story...

In Ace's defense, she does have a history of allergies, and shedding is not the most attractive quality in an animal. And, one of the first times Ace walked Youshi, he did have a seizure in the parking lot...This being said, if Youshi ever disappears....call Ace.

Yup, Ace, the pre-meditated, doggie murderer. Ace will regularly threaten poor little (30ish lb) Youshi with the pound, starvation, removal of the vocal cords, and death. In fact, today, Parker and Ace planned where Youshi would like to have his ashes spread...they also discussed the different murder methods and options of body disposal...doggie murders I tell you. And poor little, clueless Youshi doesn't even know what's coming...

Now you see why I had to use the red pillow???

I'm pretty sure it's 2012... right now

Ok people, a cosmic shift has happened and the world is unaware. I (Ace) feel it is my job... scratch that... DUTY, to let the world know that something of epic proportions has happened. I hate it when it is my job to be the one that has to give bad news. Its a stinky job, everyone hates you... but I guess I'll be the responsible one and just go for it...

Maybe it was brought on by the meteor shower. Is it a full moon? Perhaps it is the Twilight hysteria messing with peoples brains. I have a team of scientists out researching the cause right now. Regardless the cause, it is a reality people... gosh I don't even know how to tell you all ... K, I'll just spit it out...

You know how this blog is really "a chronicle of the adventures of ace and jammie"... well that is just a scam. It really is just a way for Ace to pick on Jams and tell funny stories without getting the *@#^ kicked out of her. I know... I'm just in full disclosure, honesty mode right now. But seriously I'm passive aggressive... or maybe just realize that Jams could beat me to a pulp and this is my only way to fight back. Come to think of it, I let her post on here too... giving her access to harass me... I just realized. i. am. an. idiot.

I digress... this weekend was the epic weekend where the tables were turned and Ace got picked on.

I'm letting that soak in.

I don't know how it happened people, but it did. It all started at TGIF (girls night), and Jams got on a roll of picking on me. It started off as just verbal threats, and teasing. But eventually it turned violent. I honestly can't remember all the things that were said, but when it turned ugly I remember every moment. I was sitting on the couch calmly, being the best of friends and watching endless, ENDLESS, hours of a mind-numbing sport where men in tights throw around a ball (NO it's not figure skating... that at least would be watchable!)... so there I sit bored out of my mind when I feel my glasses getting shoved into my eyeballs by a red pillow that is repeatedly getting slammed into my face. I blacked out and when I awoke a few minutes later, Jams is standing over me laughing like the wicked witch. Tears streaming down my eyes, I ask her one simple question

WHY?

She just looks at me blankly and beats me into senseless obviation.

Or at least that is how I remember the story.

If you could think of a different name for me...

Back after a long period of dormancy are......(*drumroll please*)....ACE AND JAMMIE!! (*crowd goes wild*)

So, last night, after a hearty dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, Ace and Jams went on an adventure to Macy's and Barnes and Noble. Now, these could be quite exciting events...except for the fact that we drove all the way to Macy's to buy makeup...and not just any makeup...the kind of makeup that costs $15 for one stinking color of eyeshadow (Jams openly admits her eyeshadow addiction at this point). Then, we went to Barnes and Noble for not just any book....we went for the 6th edition of the APA Style Manual. Yes, we are that cool. Jams was quite disappointed that they did not have the complete style manual and reluctantly spent entirely too much money on the "Concise Rules of APA Style."

Now, I know that you all think that this is quite enough excitement for one blog post, but it doesn't end there. On the way home, Ace turns to Jammie and says, "My brother wanted to name me a Russian name like Sasha or Natasha...can you even imagine that being my name?" (Ace at this point starts to say Tasha and Natasha in various versions of a Wisconsin Russian accent (yes, there is such thing)). She then asks, "If my name weren't Sarah, what would you think would be a good name for me?" (Note: I did not point out the randomness of either of these comments but definitely thought about the randomness quietly to myself)

At this point, Jams immediately starts to rack her brain as she realizes the importance (and potential disaster) of answering this question. Jams quickly cut out the first three options that came to her mind as they were inappropriate and started to go down the list of other potential names. Ace had also started to think of alternative names for Jams, so the next 3 or 4 minutes in the car would involve silence, followed by us looking at each other to see the fit of the name that we had in mind. Jams arrives at Ashley...Ace says, "Oh, Ash for short...that could work except I only know stuck-up Ashley's." Ace then shares her idea and says, "I could see Jasmine being your name...." After this, Jams exclaims, "Jasmine?!?! Seriously, you couldn't think of anything better than that?!" To which, Ace replies, "We could call you Jazzy for short." Jams can only think of the word jezebel associated with Jasmine for whatever reason and is quite taken aback. :) Ace quickly recovers and replies, "Or, we could call you Ann." So, Ann and Ash it is...